Joe D’ Mango’s LOVENOTES
I don’t know what came over me but I found myself having an affair with Jay. I gave myself to a man I barely knew…
Dear Joe,
I never imagined I would find myself writing to you for advice. Just call me Rain. I am 22 and working for a prestigious company here in Ortigas. I could not ask for more in my life. I have a good job, loving parents, friends who are very supportive, and a sincere and honest boyfriend named Gabby.
Gabby and I have been going steady for more than a year. I met him at this company. We don’t have any problem except for some petty quarrels that are resolved within the day. He is very patient, loyal, understanding and even treats me like a princess.
All our office mates are asking when we’re going to tie the knot. But he would just smile and tell them that marriage is not yet on his mind. One time I told him that if he didn’t want to marry at this time, we could live together. But he didn’t want that.
He just changed the topic and told me that he doesn’t want to talk about married life. I still remained loyal to him even though I felt disappointed.
A month age, a man named Jay started sending me sweet nothings on my mobile phone. He even called me in the office and at home. Then, when I started to freak out because I didn’t know who my stalker is, an office mate told me that Jay asked him for my mobile number. I did not entertain him because I hardly knew him in the first place. I told Gabby about this man but he told me to just ignore the guy.
One day, when I was very busy doing my job, a man stood in front of my table. I looked up and saw a man I’d probably see only in my dreams. Jay introduced himself to me and said sorry for making me feel nervous. He asked me to go out that day but I rejected his offer. I thought that would be the end of it. But he kept calling and texting me. I discovered a lot of things about him. Jay is very kalog, very sincere and a down-to-earth person. He is also very rich so I could not believe he had fallen in love with a girl like me.
I began to hide things from Gabby. Every time Gabby and I are together, my mind is on Jay. I don’t know what came over me but I just found myself having an affair with Jay. I gave myself to a man I barely knew. I was ready to face the reality that after he got what he wanted, he would leave me. But he did not. He told me that after what happened, his feelings for me grew stronger. Joe, Jay is asking me to leave Gabby and to marry him. Gabby never asked even once. Jay told me he is ready to face anything just to have me, even if it would cost him his life.
Joe, I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to break up with them both. But they don’t want to let go. I told Gabby that I am falling for another guy and I don’t want to be unfair to him. I sought my parent’s advice and they don’t want Jay for me. They told me that Jay would only use me and dump me. They even told me that Jay and I don’t belong together because of our status in the society. My parents think that Jay’s family might hate me because we are not that rich.
Joe, I know this is my fault. From the start, I should not have entertained Jay. I should’ve ignored him because I am already committed to Gabby. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to fall for him. Joe, I love Jay so much. But we cannot meet very often because Gabby is always with me and my parents are screening all my calls at home. They don’t want me to get involved with Jay. Joe, it’s killing me. I want to see and talk to Jay. I don’t know what to do.
Sincerely,
Rain
Dear Rain,
This ultimate test in any relationship is when God allows someone else to get into the picture and distort it. Many who are committed to relationships remain faithful even during times of adversity and disappointments. But there are times when we simply stumble and make irreversible mistakes.
The best way to go about this kind of dilemma is to simply be true to yourself. First, you have to realize that there should never be two men in your life. It is either Jay or Gabby and not both. You should never be afraid to fight for what you feel. Live for love and not with fear. Marriages should now be about who’s rich or not. It is all about love, and sharing one’s life regardless of who has more money. Marriages are supposed to be built on things that last and not on those that rust and decay.
Let us always remember that every day we live is a choice we make. You can choose to become this today or be someone else tomorrow. Rain, make a choice and live that choice. Don’t let fear keep you from loving. Listen to your innermost self and use your mind to balance your emotion, and let it guide you to where heart should truly be.
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