she's afraid to express her feelings for a classmate

Joe D’ Mango’s LOVENOTES
Published December 9, 2001

Dear Joe,

Call me Joy, a senior college student in one of the prestigious universities in Manila. My problem started when I met Elton, a classmate in one of my minor subjects. It was his dimples that caught my fancy.

We sat close to each other, but we never talked. He rarely smiled at me, but that didn’t matter. One day he finally noticed my existence and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him I had one. I had to lie every time someone asked me that question because nobody would believe me if I said otherwise. It’s not that I didn’t have suitors, but it was so hard to find someone I really like. Some of them were rich and good-looking, but boring. Some were cute and intelligent, but conceited.

When I met Elton, the man of my dreams, I wished we could be lovers. But how could we be if he didn’t like me. He was neat, good-looking, smart, assertive and very thoughtful. No wonder, many girls on our campus had a crush on him. I knew that what I felt for him was different. His gestures were more than just friendly and because of his caring and thoughtful ways, I fell for him.

Since February, we’ve become close friends. We talk about a lot of things even during class hours. We share many happy moments. One time, he accompanied me to my next class because he was depressed not seeing his girlfriend for a long time. I don’t know if he was trying to hurt me or he just wanted to see how I would react. I couldn’t show my love for him; instead, I treated him harshly.

During the semestral break, I thought that this crazy feeling would fade away, but it grew even deeper. I saw him again when classes resumed last June, but I didn’t have the courage to greet him. When he saw me, he told me to give his regards to my “boyfriend”. I wanted to tell him, “It’s you I want, that’s why I haven’t committed myself to anybody yet.” But I didn’t have the guts to reveal what I truly felt for him. Before we parted, he said, “Ingat.” I didn’t know if he was just being friendly or if he meant something else. I’m not sure if he likes me but he’s always on my mind.

I want to let him know what I feel for him through a letter, but he might get a bad impression. I don’t want to lose him. Tell me what to do.

JOY

Sometimes a woman gets scared in openly expressing her feelings for someone, simply because she is afraid in finding out what the other person feels for her. Even if she likes him so much, she just treads on each day with fond thoughts of him as she savors his presence from a distance. She feels safer there because she only has to deal with her own feelings. She wastes precious time waiting for the right chance and when she finally goes out of her way to reach out to this person and make her feelings known, it’s too late. He would have found someone else.

Not all men are good when it comes to relating their feelings. They have their own different styles and some even wait for a sign before they proceed with their plans. It’s really hard to tell how a guy feels for a girl just by interpreting his actions. If you really like Elton, then you have to help him express himself. I don’t think he would get a bad impression id you sincerely express what you feel. There are a hundred different ways of getting into a man’s heart. Let him know how you feel. Tell him that you like him and enjoy being with him. Send him a note or treat him to merienda. Be simple and sincere. Just be yourself. When your message gets through, I’m sure that he’s going to make the next move. If you’re meant for each other, this can be the start of a beautiful forever. Good luck and my best wishes.

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