Joe D’ Mango’s LOVENOTES
Published July 22, 2001
Dear Joe,
Just call me Misty and I am one of the avid listeners of your No. 1 program, “Love Notes.” The friendly way you offer advice moved me to share my love story with you.
It was May last year when I met Rod. He just joined the construction company where I was working and I was assigned to assist him. At first, I found it hard to approach him because he was the shy type and preferred to stay alone in his room, ignoring everybody around him. At first, I thought he was weird, but after a few weeks I found a way to draw him out of his shell. We became close to each other. I found out that he was interesting, intelligent, friendly and really fun to be with.
As days passed, we became closer. I though at first that he considered me and elder sister since I’m five years older than him. He used to tell me about his plans, ambitions as well as his heartaches and disappointments. I was his confidante and I tried to help him in any way I can. Then a feeling of being more than just friends developed. It was an ecstatic feeling – each moment we spent together was pure magic. But the joy could not be complete. We could not openly show our relationship because he was already married, something I knew from the day we met. At that time, I did not care if loving him was right or wrong. All I knew was we loved each other. It didn’t bother us what people around the office might say if they found out about us although we still tried to be discreet. My life revolved around him. I loved Rod very much and he was my first real love.
One day, Rod didn’t report for work. I was terribly troubled. I felt that something was wrong. He was absent the whole week and it made me so miserable. Of course, there was no way I could contact him without letting his wife know what was going on between us. I felt the world shatter around me. After another week, I received a letter form him, together with his resignation letter. He told me he loved me so much but he preferred to stay away so as not to ruin my life. Rod didn’t know how badly I was affected.
I was angry and I felt cheated. I knew the consequences of loving the wrong guy but I didn’t mind. This happened several months ago, but until now I have not gotten over Rod. I still love him and I hope that one day he’ll come back. Am I wrong to feel this way? I have lost hope of finding someone else. It’s Rod I want. Am I crazy?
MISTY
Published July 22, 2001
Dear Joe,
Just call me Misty and I am one of the avid listeners of your No. 1 program, “Love Notes.” The friendly way you offer advice moved me to share my love story with you.
It was May last year when I met Rod. He just joined the construction company where I was working and I was assigned to assist him. At first, I found it hard to approach him because he was the shy type and preferred to stay alone in his room, ignoring everybody around him. At first, I thought he was weird, but after a few weeks I found a way to draw him out of his shell. We became close to each other. I found out that he was interesting, intelligent, friendly and really fun to be with.
As days passed, we became closer. I though at first that he considered me and elder sister since I’m five years older than him. He used to tell me about his plans, ambitions as well as his heartaches and disappointments. I was his confidante and I tried to help him in any way I can. Then a feeling of being more than just friends developed. It was an ecstatic feeling – each moment we spent together was pure magic. But the joy could not be complete. We could not openly show our relationship because he was already married, something I knew from the day we met. At that time, I did not care if loving him was right or wrong. All I knew was we loved each other. It didn’t bother us what people around the office might say if they found out about us although we still tried to be discreet. My life revolved around him. I loved Rod very much and he was my first real love.
One day, Rod didn’t report for work. I was terribly troubled. I felt that something was wrong. He was absent the whole week and it made me so miserable. Of course, there was no way I could contact him without letting his wife know what was going on between us. I felt the world shatter around me. After another week, I received a letter form him, together with his resignation letter. He told me he loved me so much but he preferred to stay away so as not to ruin my life. Rod didn’t know how badly I was affected.
I was angry and I felt cheated. I knew the consequences of loving the wrong guy but I didn’t mind. This happened several months ago, but until now I have not gotten over Rod. I still love him and I hope that one day he’ll come back. Am I wrong to feel this way? I have lost hope of finding someone else. It’s Rod I want. Am I crazy?
MISTY
It is never wrong to feel this way for someone. What makes loving painful is when we expect the other person to give back this love with the same intensity. Most of us can’t seem to love unselfishly because we always expect to get something in return when we give. You should be thankful that Rod had the courage to deny himself of what he wants, to preserve those that he needs. Put yourself in his wife’s place and see how it feels if someone tries to take your husband away from you. A lousy marriage is not a good enough reason for couples to break their vows. If you only think of your own happiness, then it is not love you feel but selfishness. We can never be truly happy if it is at somebody else’s expense. Accept Rod’s decision.
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