Joe D Mango’s LOVE NOTES
Dear Joe,
I wrote the following letter without ever knowing that I'm gonna send it to u. My apology if it sounds like I'm talking to no one in particular. Its only after I'm done writing it that I thought of sending it to you. I don't need it aired over the radio, it's up to you. But I would appreciate it very much if you'll send your advice on my email. I don't get to listen that much on your show 'cause of my hectic schedule that sometimes I forget that it's love notes time na. Anyway...here goes my story....
Why does it that when you’re broken-hearted, all the songs that you hear seem to remind you of your hurt and pains? It’s as if salt are being poured onto your wounds? Oouch!!!
I just had my heart broken. I broke his heart first but then I realized that I miss him. But it’s too late now. We see each other from time to time. He’s with his friends and I’m with mine. Sometimes, we’ll eat together as group but later we’ll go on our separate gimiks. Unlike before where we’ll go out as group until we’ll decide to call it a day.
When we’re together with our friends, it’s so hard to act like nothing had happened. It’s so hard to talk freely for fear of bringing something up that might ruin the entire evening. It’s so hard to turn to him and talk to him about anything for fear that he might still be bitter about the incident and he might make bara to everything I might say.
I also noticed that he never starts a conversation with me. I will always be the one to start it. He’ll answer and that’s it. He’s not sulking ‘cause he’ll talk to my friends and even start a conversation with them. But not with me. Maybe he’s still mad at me for what I did. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. Whenever he’ll answer my question, he won’t even look at me. Luckily, it never causes any tension in the group. And I’m also grateful to our friends ‘cause if ever they noticed anything, they never make any comments and they always act as if everything is normal. At least I won’t have to worry that I’m always ruining the evening for all of us.
We always have dinner in the same place and the guys will always start to look there if they want to see us. Sometimes, I want to suggest to my friends that we have a change of venue. So that there will never be a chance of us seeing each other. But there are times when I’m looking forward for the evening to come ‘cause I know that I will get to see him. Even if it pains me.
What causes the pain? Our closeness is not there anymore. He’ll sit beside me ‘cause his friends will make sure that the available place will be the one beside me and I feel like he’s there because he doesn’t have any choice. Some of you might say that if he never wants to see me again, he shouldn’t have come with his friends. But his friends are very close and it’s been a routine to them to go out and I know that he won’t let anything or anyone change that. Not even me.
What do I want to happen? I want another chance. A chance to show him that I love him and I’m sorry that I only realized it at the end. He knows this.
And his answer was NO.
As far as I know, he’s not courting anyone right now. Thank God for small mercies! I don’t know what my reactions will be if ever there will be a new girl in the picture. So, I kept on hoping...hoping that the pain I caused will heal and he’ll let us be happy together. Do you think I should give up and let him go? Do you think I’m being selfish?
I want to move on. Who doesn’t want to? But I want to move on with him. Doesn’t make sense, huh? I guess, Love never does make sense.
Thank you for lending an ear Joe, and more power to your program...
Sincerely yours,
Toni
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Dear Toni,
I don’t think you are being selfish Toni, maybe you are just being too stubborn to let go of your feelings and too focused on someone who probably wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Whatever it was that broke his heart must have broken it so badly that your man still hasn’t recovered from the pain and the agony it caused him.
Most men are driven by ego. If their pride gets in the way then there is little anyone can do to get through to them. Your boyfriend has shut his doors closed on you. You should have realized that from the many times that you spent together like strangers. Do not impose too much on him. He still is probably healing and would just want to keep himself detached from the woman who broke his heart. Everyone needs time to be alone and to compose himself. Just let him find his space and meet him only when he’s ready to face you.
Toni, there should always be a reason to fight for someone we love. A reason to hope for something that we believe in and a reason to be brave and face our fears. Do not be afraid to face the day when you will see him in someone else’s arms. It sometimes hurt when we expect too much. So, just be happy and thankful that you still get to see each other at least once in every friendly get together dinner.
I have always believed that there is a reason and a season for everything. You realized how much someone meant to you only after you have hurt him. Now, it is you who you are made to feel that pain in a different way. Experience is our greatest teacher . Do not let one man keep you from moving on. Your tomorrow is something that you owe yourself, not him. Learn from your mistakes and live your life avoiding them so that you may find what you have lost and never lose it again.
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