Joe D Mango’s LOVE NOTES
Published April 29, 2001
Dear Joe,
I had this classmate last sem who happens to be the crush of my good friend, Booey. Although I was attracted to Phoenix the first time I laid eyes on him, I kept it from Booey. After all, I get attracted to guys easily. I mean, I don’t really get serious with anyone. Booey is a great friend and seeing how happy and excited she got around Phoenix, I simply ignored my attraction to him.
I initiate sex with any man I fancy. I am used to getting what I want, especially around men. Booey is so unlike me.
Phoenix and I used to text until he asked me to go out. He was very passionate about a lot of things. We were so unlike each other. He was sentimental, serious and pretty rational.
Is it possible that after kissing a person, that’s the only time you realize you are in love with him? I kissed Phoenix. He was shocked by the gesture. Then we ended up making love. I really just can’t call it sex because it was different. It just happened. I left while he was still sleeping. My head was full of thoughts and questions.
When I went to see Phoenix the next day, I learned he was on his way to Colorado for the summer. I called him and he said he was dumb-founded as I was. I always remember what he said: “You only do it with the person you love. That’s the only time sex can be good.” He said he needs time to think about what came over him that night. He was not sure what he feels for me and if he felt anything at all.
We call each other every now and then. And we’ll be seeing each other in school come June. This is the first time I am confusing sex with love. If I could fly to Colorado and be with him, I would.
It would help if you can give me your advice on this. I am 26 and about to get my marriage annulled. My husband cheated on me countless times.
Joelle
Dear Joelle,
It seems like you are definitely turning your back on your failed marriage and finally giving yourself the chance to start over again. I just hope you have given this much thought and it isn’t one that was made in haste.
You thought you had proven your capacity to make any man fall for you. But after making it with Phoenix, you realized love can be more overwhelming than sex. Could it be that this is the first time you were conquered and not the one doing the conquering? This short meeting of the minds with Phoenix has surprisingly caught you defenseless. He probably was not like the others who viewed sex differently.
Joelle, I know how exciting this is, finding someone who completes you as a person, but you should be careful. After one failed marriage, you should not rush into any relationship yet, no matter how promising it is. Take your time and learn to value yourself.
If you think you can conquer every man you sleep with, then think again. You won’t gain or prove anything from this. There is more to a relationship than sex. It is important, but it shouldn’t be the foundation on which we build our commitments.
Phoenix could be the right one for you, but it would take more that two naked bodies to find that out. Explore the endless possibilities of friendship and just let time take its course. Soon enough, you will see a clear picture of your dreams and the man who will make it all happen.
Joe
Dear Joe,
I had this classmate last sem who happens to be the crush of my good friend, Booey. Although I was attracted to Phoenix the first time I laid eyes on him, I kept it from Booey. After all, I get attracted to guys easily. I mean, I don’t really get serious with anyone. Booey is a great friend and seeing how happy and excited she got around Phoenix, I simply ignored my attraction to him.
I initiate sex with any man I fancy. I am used to getting what I want, especially around men. Booey is so unlike me.
Phoenix and I used to text until he asked me to go out. He was very passionate about a lot of things. We were so unlike each other. He was sentimental, serious and pretty rational.
Is it possible that after kissing a person, that’s the only time you realize you are in love with him? I kissed Phoenix. He was shocked by the gesture. Then we ended up making love. I really just can’t call it sex because it was different. It just happened. I left while he was still sleeping. My head was full of thoughts and questions.
When I went to see Phoenix the next day, I learned he was on his way to Colorado for the summer. I called him and he said he was dumb-founded as I was. I always remember what he said: “You only do it with the person you love. That’s the only time sex can be good.” He said he needs time to think about what came over him that night. He was not sure what he feels for me and if he felt anything at all.
We call each other every now and then. And we’ll be seeing each other in school come June. This is the first time I am confusing sex with love. If I could fly to Colorado and be with him, I would.
It would help if you can give me your advice on this. I am 26 and about to get my marriage annulled. My husband cheated on me countless times.
Joelle
Dear Joelle,
It seems like you are definitely turning your back on your failed marriage and finally giving yourself the chance to start over again. I just hope you have given this much thought and it isn’t one that was made in haste.
You thought you had proven your capacity to make any man fall for you. But after making it with Phoenix, you realized love can be more overwhelming than sex. Could it be that this is the first time you were conquered and not the one doing the conquering? This short meeting of the minds with Phoenix has surprisingly caught you defenseless. He probably was not like the others who viewed sex differently.
Joelle, I know how exciting this is, finding someone who completes you as a person, but you should be careful. After one failed marriage, you should not rush into any relationship yet, no matter how promising it is. Take your time and learn to value yourself.
If you think you can conquer every man you sleep with, then think again. You won’t gain or prove anything from this. There is more to a relationship than sex. It is important, but it shouldn’t be the foundation on which we build our commitments.
Phoenix could be the right one for you, but it would take more that two naked bodies to find that out. Explore the endless possibilities of friendship and just let time take its course. Soon enough, you will see a clear picture of your dreams and the man who will make it all happen.
Joe
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