Joe D’ Mango’s LOVENOTES
Published April 22, 2001
Dear Joe,
I’m 18 years old, a sophomore student and blessed with a good and happy family. I have a boyfriend of 15 months. He comes from a well-to-do family. He’s really nice, loving, faithful, handsome, neat and a gentleman. That’s the reason many other girls and even gays envy me. If there’s one thing I complain about, it is his possessiveness. He even gets jealous with my girlfriends.
I tried talking to him about it and he admitted his faults. He told me he’ll do something about it, but he never changed. We broke up several times but we always end up in each other’s arms.
One day, I met Ramil. He’s 27 years old and good-looking, too. I don’t believe in love at first sight but it happened to me. Ramil also felt the same way toward me. He knew of my relationship with my boyfriend and he was honest to admit that he already has three kids and is living in with the mother of the kids. They’re not separated nor married. I accepted him for what he is. I’m happy being with him and I’m sure he is, too. I can openly say things to him and he listens to me. He makes me feel so special and we never had a fight about anything. We see each other constantly without my boyfriend and his girl knowing about it. Ramil and I are expressive of our feelings, but we never had sex. I know my relationship with Ramil has no assurance, but I love him. I feel so guilty because I know I’m cheating on my boyfriend and he is, too, with his girl.
I’m so confused. I’m afraid that one day, people will know about my relationship with Ramil and it would cause bigger trouble. Help me, Joe. I love Ramil, but I still love my boyfriend. I don’t want my boyfriend to know about the things I’m doing because I don’t want him to get hurt. He’s the least person I would wish to hurt. Some things in this world aren’t planned. They just happen.
I’m not so sure of what’s in store for me. It’s hard to give up one of them because they are both precious and important to me. My parents know nothing about this because I know they’ll be very disappointed. What’s the best thing to do? It’s so hard to decide. Hope I’ll get over this mess I got myself into. Thanks and God bless!
BHELLIE
Dear Joe,
I’m 18 years old, a sophomore student and blessed with a good and happy family. I have a boyfriend of 15 months. He comes from a well-to-do family. He’s really nice, loving, faithful, handsome, neat and a gentleman. That’s the reason many other girls and even gays envy me. If there’s one thing I complain about, it is his possessiveness. He even gets jealous with my girlfriends.
I tried talking to him about it and he admitted his faults. He told me he’ll do something about it, but he never changed. We broke up several times but we always end up in each other’s arms.
One day, I met Ramil. He’s 27 years old and good-looking, too. I don’t believe in love at first sight but it happened to me. Ramil also felt the same way toward me. He knew of my relationship with my boyfriend and he was honest to admit that he already has three kids and is living in with the mother of the kids. They’re not separated nor married. I accepted him for what he is. I’m happy being with him and I’m sure he is, too. I can openly say things to him and he listens to me. He makes me feel so special and we never had a fight about anything. We see each other constantly without my boyfriend and his girl knowing about it. Ramil and I are expressive of our feelings, but we never had sex. I know my relationship with Ramil has no assurance, but I love him. I feel so guilty because I know I’m cheating on my boyfriend and he is, too, with his girl.
I’m so confused. I’m afraid that one day, people will know about my relationship with Ramil and it would cause bigger trouble. Help me, Joe. I love Ramil, but I still love my boyfriend. I don’t want my boyfriend to know about the things I’m doing because I don’t want him to get hurt. He’s the least person I would wish to hurt. Some things in this world aren’t planned. They just happen.
I’m not so sure of what’s in store for me. It’s hard to give up one of them because they are both precious and important to me. My parents know nothing about this because I know they’ll be very disappointed. What’s the best thing to do? It’s so hard to decide. Hope I’ll get over this mess I got myself into. Thanks and God bless!
BHELLIE
There are times in our lives when we are made to choose between people who are equally important to us. People who share one common spot in our hearts. Given the option, we would rather not make a choice but under conflicting circumstances, we do.
Bhellie, you and Ramil cheated on your partners because you both felt right about being together. You believe it is love that binds you with him. Maybe it is. But, is it really possible to love two people with the same intensity at the same time?
You said you love your boyfriend but you are secretly seeing someone else. How can that be love when you are wilfully betraying the trust with which you have built your relationship upon?
It is always difficult when someone comes along and steals our heart away. This is the time when we have to rationally balance what our minds tell us what is right and what our hearts want.
The fact is, you can never have them both forever. One day, you will have to let go of either one or both of them. Never wait for tomorrow. Make your choice now. Just remember that our hearts can only feel. They don’t think and they can be very deceitful. This is the reason we have to close our eyes when our passion sweeps over us like a gust of wind. If we don’t, raging emotions will blind us and keep us from making sensible decisions. Let us use more of our heads than our hearts when we are overwhelmed by passion so that we can clearly see the path clouded by feelings out to mislead our relationships to their untimely deaths.
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